Yum

Ps. New favorite dessert: dates. Soo sweet and tasty


- love Whitney

bomb videos

hot

http://victorialeshungryeyes.blogspot.com/2011/02/you-shot-me-down-bang-bang.html

lastly - the song thats been in my head allllll day:  Regina Spektor "That Time"

things i love

falling asleep.. ya know why?   cause thats when my mind finally calms down enough to hear new ideas.  i always got my most creative ideas just before i was falling asleep.  this is the state we are trying to get to in class during meditation, but so far it only happens as a i drift away to never never land.

i was especially excited last night cause i got ideas for some new art projects, which is awesome and inspiring especially cause i havent made art in a while.  Ive been feeling pretty bad about it but have allowed myself to put art on hold because im in my last semester of school.. you heard me, LAST SEMESTER EVAA!!!   so yea art ideas made me happy

also in other news, more crazy drama!!!  

its so weird, ive had plenty of drama in my life but this is the first time in a while that the drama is not about me - its about 2 other people that somehow ive been caught in the middle of.  it sucks!  cause its not like i did anything fun/bad to cause the drama but i do get all the punishment from it.  ughh..

hopefully itll work out but i have a sinking feeling that this isnt the end of it.

'

tommorrow should be fun cause im gonna go shopping with faye and her sis for bridal shower stuff - tea cups and such.  and ever since we started planning im all obsessive online about diy decorations etc...  here are some awesome ones :

 

Do you want my opinion?

so im sick in bed today :( waaa

sorry i havent written in a while, ive been a little stressed out the last week.  alright alot stressed out.
so last week the doc found a lump in my breast which im hoping is just nothing, but ever since then ive been slightly terrified and mostly just going nuts.  not crazy nuts, but just going out and partying alot more than usual.  maybe its good for me, to let loose a little.

I went to vegas and learned an important lesson:  what happens in vegas, ends up on facebook.
also other things i learned: guys still are mesmerized by boobs, and if you mix capt morgan and sprite it tastes like a cream soda! awesome.

so the facebook thing also got me thinking alot about my life and secrets.  I have alot of secrets.  not all bad ones or hurtful, but things i dont want the whole world to know. which all sounds normal right?  yea, except that nowadays it seems like no one has any secrets.  that everyone knows everyone and everything about them thanks to the internet and the speed of public networking. privacy is lost on a much deeper level.  maybe we know too much, maybe too much is revealed.  do i really need to know the constant facebook status of my teacher?  do they need to see pictures of me with my friends?  i know this is a broken record but it makes me feel devious sometimes that i want more and more secrets because of this.  ive realized, there is no one that knows everything about me.  and i love that. i think its brilliant.  its the one thing i have that i can control in my life. well, not entirely becuase im sure people find out certain things.  but this desire has also made me more tolerant of others secrets.  i think in the past, when people had alot that they werent saying i bugged me but now its nice in someways.  now dont get me wrong, i love to talk and i think sharing intimate details really creates strong bonds, i think im just not ready to reveal everything.  maybe ive been tainted by past relationships, maybe its the internet  i dunno..

When i was, i dunno 15 or 16?, i read a short story (this will be amzing to some of you because i hate reading- i get too many headaches when i read) and the story made this crazy lasting impression on me.
It was a book from the teen section with 16 stories for "young adults".  It was about this other world in which sex and emotional attachment were switched in a way.  Its hard to explain, but basically you see kids making out everywhere with everyone, but no one sharing their ideas  or emotions about anything.  and one day a girl speaks up in class and it shocks everyone and the teacher comes up to her and starts kissing her to quiet her.  later, the main character, a teenage boy, lies away at night fantasizing about not her body, but her ideas.      at the time i thought it was a crazy world but now it seems like my world.  is this just what your twenties are like? is this what happens after puberty? is this the state of "kids these days"?   i dont judge people for it but it makes me sad.  It feels so much easier to be physical with someone that to really share something deep, to be completely honest, to just talk.   half the time when i talk to people i feel like they arent really there.  chatting now just feels like commercials.  i hate commercials, its just wasted time waiting for the better thing to come.  but all that empty chatter makes me feel empty...

anyway read the story.  its called "Do you want my opinion?" by M.E. Kerr

Hook: "Last night I dreamed I told Lauren Lake what I thought about John Lennon's music, Picasso's art, and Soviet-American relations. It's getting worse. I've tried putting my head under the cold-water faucet." (p. 93)

Notes for Booktalk: Sixteen is a wonderful collection of short stories covering a variety of topics. My favorite story is "Do you want my opinion?" by M. E. Kerr. In this story, John is a high school student in an alternative universe where affection and sex are totally accepted, but sharing thoughts is taboo. One day, John wakes up after having dreams of exchanging thoughts with Lauren, a girl at his school. His father lectures him not to get serious with girls and to keep his thoughts to himself. When he gets to school, he can't help but remember what happened in Thought's class last week. Lauren brought up the idea of an alternative universe where sharing thoughts is totally acceptable, but touching was a special thing. The class had laughed at her answers and the teacher told her to keep her thoughts to herself. John longs to spend an evening exchanging ideas with Lauren, but knows he shouldn't ask a girl out when he is only interested in one thing! (Robin Sitarski)

(via Booktalking)

i love this story




also: awesome pics from a long time ago that i took during an art walk in pomona:

gnight
-w

My favorite coffee shop!

Ode to Red Hill Coffee Shop

 

RHCS how i love you so...

let me count the ways

the grease on the potatoes

the grease on the bacon

the grease on the eggs

the grease on my steak'n

You make the rest of my life

feel healthier than before

But no matter what

thursday morning ill come knocking at your door

I love it because its where i see my guys and where my dad and i get to hang out together.  Breakfast with these guys is basically a continuous string of dirty jokes and so much laughter that it becomes contagious.  I love them all so much and im so happy to have adopted them as uncles.

The only thing i love more than the coffee shop is the strawberry patch down the street.  I love it because its soo rare to have anything in southern california closer than 10 min away. so for this to be on my hill is amazing.  plus it looks like its the last thing in rancho untouched by all the overdevelopment and urban sprawl.  it functions humbly year round selling strawberries, and corn. its so simple and so perfect.  I think thats why people like in n out.  There are so many options and constant barrage of advertisements, billboards and flashing signs all around you that to find something quiet and simple becomes beautiful.  this stand is amazing and beautiful and always makes me happy to live where i do.

            

    

Here are just some more random shots of the day that i loved

My dad!

Um can this get any cuter? - ill let you guess what it really is

Kirby being awesome

I love that my town has such a silly name -
 how can it not make you smile?

What do you love about your city?

Origami at the bar

Last night i was out celebrating because the new cultural plan for the city of pomona had just been passed by the city council.  this was a process that was 1 year in the making.  so we all went out for a drink to celebrate and some strange things happened:

- me and others fell back into 3rd grade

- i was brave - my anxiety was non existent and i was able to talk to everyone

- for the first time i was able to do the "bar" thing and have random fun conversations with strangers (about body parts and NKOTB)

- i learned crazy things about origami

- i met a kindred spirit in the body of 

- i met someone afraid of twins

- i finally felt like myself

the last one i feel has taken sooo long.  I went to college out of state and after graduation, returned home to be closer to my family and go to grad school.   I always felt like a little bit of a late bloomer when it came to the personality and social stuff- not that i had no friends, i felt very introverted tho.   College changed alot of that.  it ripped me out of my shell and although it was hard and scary alot of the time, i felt like by the end i had found myself.  I think thats why i miss Washington so badly.  it was the first place i felt independent and confident with my anxiety. i felt like for the first time i had built my own life.  so when i came back home i felt like i was travelling back in time to hs where i was a little kid again.  I was resentful of my family for taking me away from the life i had built.  But recently ive been realizing i contributed to those actions and feelings.  I was seeing myself and younger and weaker.  

so 2 and a half years have past and finally this year i decided to stop throwing a pity party for myself and start creating the life i wanted.  I still had the power to create that independence and to build a life for myself.  so the last few months i have... and last night i finally felt like myself again.  not the self from college, but a new self.  one that i feel really proud of... and now im doubting my move to Washington all over again. but as my new friend darrell said "life is long - there is time to explore.  dont think you are stuck in one place forever. You should move to new places and there is always time to return".   Hes right, i think my biggest battle is the idea of leaving my parents.  i have the idea in my head that they need me (because of their not so stellar health in the last year) but maybe im using them as an excuse because i need them.. i dunno.. no conclusion yet.  

on a much more exciting note, i talked to an awesome guy last night who told me about this KCET origami special about using the art of origami and translating in to uses in science and engineering.  

so check it out here:

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/wiredscience/video/141-origami_master.html

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/wiredscience/story/42-origami_master_robert_lang.html

Breakfast with the Vets

Steak and eggs with the guys





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Location:Red hill coffee shop. Rancho cucamonga!