Origami at the bar

Last night i was out celebrating because the new cultural plan for the city of pomona had just been passed by the city council.  this was a process that was 1 year in the making.  so we all went out for a drink to celebrate and some strange things happened:

- me and others fell back into 3rd grade

- i was brave - my anxiety was non existent and i was able to talk to everyone

- for the first time i was able to do the "bar" thing and have random fun conversations with strangers (about body parts and NKOTB)

- i learned crazy things about origami

- i met a kindred spirit in the body of 

- i met someone afraid of twins

- i finally felt like myself

the last one i feel has taken sooo long.  I went to college out of state and after graduation, returned home to be closer to my family and go to grad school.   I always felt like a little bit of a late bloomer when it came to the personality and social stuff- not that i had no friends, i felt very introverted tho.   College changed alot of that.  it ripped me out of my shell and although it was hard and scary alot of the time, i felt like by the end i had found myself.  I think thats why i miss Washington so badly.  it was the first place i felt independent and confident with my anxiety. i felt like for the first time i had built my own life.  so when i came back home i felt like i was travelling back in time to hs where i was a little kid again.  I was resentful of my family for taking me away from the life i had built.  But recently ive been realizing i contributed to those actions and feelings.  I was seeing myself and younger and weaker.  

so 2 and a half years have past and finally this year i decided to stop throwing a pity party for myself and start creating the life i wanted.  I still had the power to create that independence and to build a life for myself.  so the last few months i have... and last night i finally felt like myself again.  not the self from college, but a new self.  one that i feel really proud of... and now im doubting my move to Washington all over again. but as my new friend darrell said "life is long - there is time to explore.  dont think you are stuck in one place forever. You should move to new places and there is always time to return".   Hes right, i think my biggest battle is the idea of leaving my parents.  i have the idea in my head that they need me (because of their not so stellar health in the last year) but maybe im using them as an excuse because i need them.. i dunno.. no conclusion yet.  

on a much more exciting note, i talked to an awesome guy last night who told me about this KCET origami special about using the art of origami and translating in to uses in science and engineering.  

so check it out here:

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/wiredscience/video/141-origami_master.html

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/wiredscience/story/42-origami_master_robert_lang.html